choices...
10.30.03 (10:30 pm) [edit]STILL jammin to forte - loving you <---- click here to play AGAIN if you were listening to something else.>
hmmm... i still yet have so much to learn, experience and see!!! i guess when you come to a certain point in life it seems like it's ending. something else happens, a new challenge, a new beginning. my life doesn't have to be cruel, boring and have no hope. i can be different and i don't have to do what other people choose to do with their lives. their lives doesn't concern me. i make my own path and i travel it. why are people so unfair? why do people not realize the things they say.the things you might say to me might hurt me and drag me down for a little bit but, i keep going in my path. i will miss you but all the things you were, i miss, the new things you do are a joke. the way you present yourself is not you or the person i knew. you contradicted yourself and i heard you say things that weren't your words. you went behind me and did the things you didn't want us to do. yet .... u can never admit you are wrong and NEVER say SORRY! i did!
gosh i gave up making banners. i tried making mine but it came out all blotchy!!! errrrrr, joysha say's it's juss the monitor?... errrr i dunno i'll keep trying
DAMN... it's cold now a days and lil bit darker outside. Ofcourse i'm sick!!! chillin here waiting for my babes to get home. well gonna go cook now...
my babes... new colors & stuff too!
10.28.03 (12:26 pm) [edit]jammin to forte - loving you <---- click here to play AGAIN if you were listening to something else.>
today, i want to ramble about my soulmate, ALLAN. this song makes me think of you. but just to let you know even if i wasn't listenig to a song, i still think of you.
you have been the light that makes my world bright, you have understood me when i didnt know what i was doing. you have always stood by my side even when what i was doing was wrong. you treat me well and my family loves you. people may say it's just a phase but you know all they can do is hate coz they have never felt this feeling that we have. as you guide me and i guide you, together we are accomplishing alot of things that will make our dreams come true.
even though i tell you this everyday, i want everyone to know what we have. i wish everyone can feel this way, but i guess everyone will have their turn. so, for you guys out there, BE PATIENT.
all those nights we talked till three in the morning and the things we talked about makes me smile everytime i think about them. you've been so wonderful to me and i promise that i will always be true to you.
i will always be here for you, to help you and guide you through everything i do. i love the way you are, you're personality, you're smile, babes, you have, what no one else has and that's me!
i live
10.26.03 (8:57 pm) [edit]i live for those who love me.
for those who know me true.
for the heaven that smiles above me.
and awaits my coming too.
for the cause that lacks resistance.
for the future and the distance.
and the good that i can do
that's why i live.
LISTENIN' TO cherish feat. da brat - MISS P
feeling refreshed.... whooo hooo! i juss got out of the shower and here I am. writing in my blog. sometimes, i dont have much to say and sometimes i do. well, i haven't been on here in a while.
this weekend was koo, it was Joysha's b-day. we went to sykart. it's a go kart place. gosh everyone there was so competative, did i go, NO! i'm chicken. i was the camera person. then after that we went to this new restaurant by the mall called "bahama breeze" i might say it's pretty koo. they got some huge onion rings. my prawn pasta thing was good, my babes, allan had some kind of dish with prawns and muscles etc w/ rice... but the only stupid shit was our waiter. someone needs to teach him how! after that me and allan just went home thinking he had to work early in the AM. but turns out he had to work the PM shift. so he just came back home. and got a bit more sleep.
today, after we had breakfast and he left for work, i juss finished the laundry, did a little chatting on line and my cousin came over and surprised me! crazy girls. after that i worked on my AVON stuff and my website for it. here i am now. juss listening to some beats.
at the restaurant, i saw judy i haven't seen her since high school. gosh, she's still the same person. we had a table together. judy you drink too much, hahhaha juss playin!
Joysha you are a year older.... WOW you're so COOL. don't worry about those stupid ass people. things will pass. and they'll be the fuck face! :wink:
i don't know why people have to make things go their way, when it's not there decision to decide another person's life. people should be quiet and juss leave situations be. i hate seenin people go through all this talkin of what happen.
meanwhile, me and allan go on with our life. the car is almost fix. well the windsheild is done. we got the breaks to do. next time. someother minor things.
but anyways.. it's time for me to go, leave a comment if you please.
what's happening...
10.22.03 (9:48 pm) [edit]oHHH LA LA LA... right now i'm listening to... Feels good by Naughty By Nature. yeah i know it's cheesy....
Juss reminiscing on certain things in my life. I guess i don't know who i want to be around me. Life is confusing, full of ingrate people. but i love allan, my family, his family and a few selected frens.
i think i've cleaned out alot of my junk out of my apartment. and i've gotten rid of some old stuff and i'm gonna take some old stuff to goodwill/st vincet etc.. and get it taxed. hahahah more money yipppeeeee!
i finally signed up for AVON, thinking alot about things i decided to do that through a family friend. gosh, today I got my avon site started check it out www.youravon.com/tcabansag things are actually a lil bit cheaper on-line too. and things will be delivered to your home. isn't that great.
now, im listening to Aaliyah... wow never tought about it but she's actually kool. talent gone to waist. maybe she'll born in new person's body and finish the life that was taken from her.
i'm conversating with my fren joysha, it's gonna be her bithday this week end and we tryin where to go and how to get there. can't wait to go out.
well gotta go for now...
sunday morning....
10.19.03 (11:55 am) [edit]ooooohhhhh, DSL is cool. hahahha i'm having so much fun with this.
but anyways yesterday i went to go fix my cousins hair for their dance. i juss cant help but think how grown up these 2 girls are. Both of them are now in high school. One is graduating and the other will next year. Man, I'm old! hhaha
i'm still upset. my music place doesn't work. i've been tryin to upload my own music somewhere but i can't figure it out. errrrr! does anyone know where i can upload music to put on a webpage?
i juss wok up about an hour ago and here i am updating my blog and figuring out this music stuff and downloading music. i can't find a place to upload music. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
OK we'll i'm gonna go. sorry for the short blog. i reall have nutin to say today, im tired!
im jammin to...
Jennifer Lopez - Loving You
Would you mind if I took the time to get to know you
‘Cause it’s been a while since all we’ve been through
And even though I said my feelings wouldn’t change
Nothin’ stays the same, ooh
I could see when I look in your eyes you mean no harm
It’s just the way you manipulate me with your charm
And I can tell the love I have for you’s still strong
And there ain’t nothing wrong with me still lovin’ you
After all that we’ve been through (Ooh)
I find myself still lovin’ you (Yeah)
But I think we need to take the time to get back
‘Cause I never get up on a good thing
I never give up on the love we had (Ooh...ooh...)
We just need to take it slow
In the past you would act as if you don’t really care
You would fight and argue almost anywhere
Lookin’ back sometimes I feel like such a fool
For puttin’ up with you, boo
Baby, please understand me if it seems I’m confused
It’s just it might take me some time to get used to
you
When I things of all the things we used to do, baby
I just find myself still lovin’ you
After all that we’ve been through (Yeah)
I find myself still lovin’ you (Oh)
But I think we need to take the time to get back (No,
no)
‘Cause I never get up on a good thing
I never give up on the love we had (Baby)
We just need to take it slow
I believe you and me have a chance to make this right
Oh, baby, if your heart is in it, I’m still with it
Even after all this time has passed
Oh, I’m still lovin’ you
After all that we’ve been through (Yeah)
I find myself still lovin’ you (Oh, yeah)
But I think we need to take the time to get back
‘Cause I never get up on a good thing
I never give up on the love we had (Baby)
We just need to take it slow
After all that we’ve been through (Oh)
I find myself still lovin’ you
But I think we need to take the time to get back
‘Cause I never get up on a good thing (Never give up)
I never give up on the love we had (Yeah)
We just need to take it slow
i wish it was friday
10.16.03 (8:24 pm) [edit]listening' to 3T - From Now Until Forever
DAMN.... i was downloading something and it was almost done and my PC froze and i was typing and it's GONE... AUGHHHH... hehhe ee it's OK
so whats up? well anyways like i was saying, to my babes, Allan, i love you and always know that! is it that hard to love me? heheh e
so i finally finished uploading that stuff and i'm juss gonna wait for allan to do it.
now, me and jenilyn are tryin to figure our what kind of hair style she would like to have. she already picked but i'm going to look around somemore.
it's funny people don't undestand, i just wanna be away. let me put myself together. PLEASE
i cant wait till this week in over. and i can't wait till it's tuesday. so we can get our windshield change. today, allan was at work and a rock hit the window and well it shattered the front and errrrrrr..... we don't have money till next week and we were gonna get the brakes changes but we still have to pay for the car.... talk about set backs....and we need to get the insurance. damn we're juss tryin to get all this stuff taken care of so we can get going on it...
finally, figured out why music don't play. the site don't work. hahahahh
well, im gonna go figure out what to cook for dinner so, till then
my time
10.13.03 (2:35 am) [edit]OK tell me if you hear music playing after a while... OK? i dunno why it's not workin'.
Well, i haven't been online in a while and I'll tell you why. # 1 i've been busy with work and stuff. # 2 my computer went down. ( there goes my online classes, thanks god for internet at work) # 3 there's no reason to be online.
i'm home, alone! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! well, allan had to work graveyard shift and i don't ever work pass 12:30 so, here i am, juss tryin' out my NEW DSL! and i also have MSN.... well, what happened was that my Windows 98 shut down and collapse hahahah like it was a person, so, my fren keola intalled Windows XP Professional and i got my DSL service. here i am running on a much faster speed. hhahaha hahaha you don't have DSL! well, some of you do, i know. i finally got with the program.
it's funny how everything juss seem to turn on me. again, i guess i was a part of the problem. don't assume things if i'm not there. don't talk through other people. talk to me. if i don't talk to you. consider me banished, atleast from you because you are just a front that LIES all the time! some in the past recent comments said maybe i should that person know... i tried, it doesn't matter, they are the type of person that makes it seem like they are not wrong. plus the worls revolves around them. besides who says i haven't told them, this is a place i let my feelings out... :wink:
time for me to go.... nite
angles in my life
10.04.03 (10:44 pm) [edit]listening to... mary j. blige - never been! why? juss coz. hmmmmm.... about a year ago i met a lady at work and i checked her in for an appointment. she asked about the layoffs that have been happening and i told her what was going on and well i told her even i might be laid off. she looked at me in the eye and said "you wont be one of those people" and when she said that i felt like a load was taken off my chest. so, time went by and she transferred to another clinic and well, i still have my job. Today, i went to work and there she came in for an appointment and when i saw her i smiled and we talked for a lilttle but and well i thanked her for telling me that and for some reason, i forgot how, we started talking about my boyfriend. she told me that he is the one for me and that we would get married and have lots of kids/big family. she told me to be patient and things will be OK and the way she said "he's the one for me" lifted another load off of my shoudler. really, her closeness with god helped me and her encouragment too!
i guess you go through life and you see signs that god really cares and watches as long as you acknowledge him too! it's not too much to ask.
my babes is coming home soon... can't wait we're gonna watch a movie and make it a BLOCKBUSTER night! this is the second day in a row. hehehehehe hmmm we watched anger management... that was funny, adam sandler'd kool. tonight we are going to watch "the debut" it's filopino movie but in english and it was published here in america. FINALLY.......
but anyways... gotta go for now take care!
stupid INTERNET people
10.02.03 (7:25 pm) [edit]what's playin' 112 - dun hate me
why? because it seems that people on this blog, (not everybody) juss one person seems to think i don't take the time to read what people have to say. well, to answer that. u dont know that i don't read it and maybe you're not interesting or what you say is stupid and boring, so KILL yourself already. and like i said, nly certain people catch my eye that have intelligent things to write... THERE I GOT IT OUT OF MY SYSTEM! SO, DONT HATE! see those people on my links section those are some of the people i actually write a real message to! AND to you people who say, people copy your SHIT... think about it, you copied too because some one has already used your HTML code and someone invented it! NOONE would want to STALK you! so, do you still think you're KOOL? shut up BITCH!!!
but well, as for me, im going to spend some time online and update my blog and get in touch with a couple of folks. i guess i've been juss doin my own thing. i'm too tired. i can't deal with anything i feel like i'm useless. i haven't accomplished anything. i know i have but i think i'm not satisfied. i'll get there someday. sometimes i juss wanna go far away and .... just be alone. people don't show respect or support. they only want it for themselves. i'm tired, i'm not givin anymore of that . i'm just going to worry about me! people like that aren't worth my time.
what do you think? i think what i have is called confidence. if i sound stuck up? sorry but i don't care at the moment about you!
work
10.01.03 (10:36 am) [edit]today, im in a different section of my work. i get to be away from all the other stress i get... yiiiipeeeeee!
yesterday was such a bad day for me.... i got into a confrontation with the damn x-ray guy! I WISH HE WOULD JUST GET A LIFE! I DUNNO WHY HE EVEN WORKS HERE....
then, the damn patient gets upset up set because it took too long to see her.. what the hell! hello when you are at a dcotor's office, you need to expect a wait! what if the doctor has to take extra time with you for an appointment? do you take the time to actually think that there are people waiting for you? NO, ofcourse not!
when poeple act like that, it's disturbing adn you know it's ok, i guess coz what goes around comes around and you know it's true.
i hope today is better. it seems like it will be. but i guess, all i have to do is to just let go and juss do my job and not be bother by co- workers who have problems.